the language of intuition
how it soothes & steers my inner compass
Around the time I turned thirty I began a healing journey that would transform my outlook of what it means to be connected and protected by something bigger than myself.
As a teen I liked to play with the occult (casting crush spells, astrology and ouija boards!) In high school I began practicing yoga and I completed my first Vipassanna at 22. Most of my twenties were about passionate art-making, adventures abroad and experiencing life to its fullest - I always found the party! In 2018, I knew my lifestyle had to change, had to soften. An astrologer warned me of a self-destructive streak in my chart, a naturopath told me I was chronically burnt out and that I needed to drop caffeine, sugar and alcohol if I wanted to recover. I quit coffee, I slowed down on sugar and I made it through one month without alcohol. It was difficult, but I felt the results immediately. My skin and quality of sleep improved, my stress levels calmed, my body and mind felt lighter.
I was curious what would happen if I continued, so I challenged myself to a year of sobriety. I made it to 9 months and shortly after decided to check out AA. I wanted to pursue the growth and inner work that sobriety was opening for me. I also wanted to make some sober friends. AA taught me a lot of things (and I made a couple dear friends), but the most significant was developing my relationship to a higher power, through prayer and intuition.
Originally, the theological meaning of intuition was “spiritual perception.” Now, it’s defined as “a natural ability or power to know something without proof or evidence: a feeling that guides a person to act a certain way without understanding why.”
Intuition comes in different ways and is unique to each person. It can be sensations in the body (a gut feeling, goosebumps or pressure in the chest), images or symbols in the mind or dreams, energy and emotions (strong feelings about people, places and situations) and inner knowing (insights about yourself or others). Through recovery, my relationship to self deepened. I became aware of the ways my intuition communicated to me. One way is through art and media. When I’m seeking guidance the perfect and most relevant book or podcast will make its way to me. I’ll watch a film that somehow answers the questions on my heart. I’ll Shazam a random song in a cafe and it happens to have lyrics that feel written directly about a situation I’m in. Repeated vivid dreams. Profound insights might strike when I’m mid-asana. The beauty of a tree or the ocean takes my breath away, I feel at one with nature. Synchronicities like recurring symbols, meeting certain people, surprise timing, remarkable coincidences are all signs I pay attention to. I interpret them as little cosmic treasures and tools encouraging me to trust my path. They provide me with little morsels of meaning in the mystery of life. In my artist collective, Diasporakidz, we say “there are no rules and there’s no such thing as coincidences.” When I’m feeling lost and need a boost of faith, I ask for signals and signs. This requires being spiritually fit enough to be awake and open, which can be effortful and a little crazy-making at times.
Societies are largely built upon logic and reason, rather than strategic intuition and emotions. Innovative leaders, healers and artists are attuned to their intuition but a gut feeling isn’t often the first thing we see on professional resumes. How come! There’s so much truth, wisdom and creativity that happens when we give permission for our spiritual senses and imagination to lead. We all have access to intuition and we are all protected by and connected to something bigger than ourselves.
Since awakening to my own intuitive language, I’ve connected more deeply with others who are open to theirs too. Having friends who I can relate to around spirituality has been an important part of my journey. My artist collective, Diasporakidz, prioritizes intuitive decision making in our process because the work involves unrooting cultural stories, cultivating ancestral relationships and trusting creative impulses as embodied wisdom. As a result, over the last three years we’ve integrated spiritual protocols that support deep listening and intuitive leadership.
I love my morning coffee. I still wrestle (and often lose) with my sweet tooth. This spring I reintroduced alcohol back in my life (more on that later). I’ve come to realize that alcohol was never my Higher Power (a common belief in the AA world), but rather it just…watered me down. It fogs my quality of presence and gets in the way of the deep listening I’ve learned to rely on as my inner compass.
Intuition is the language of the soul. I can have a glass of wine or let loose once in a while. I’m learning to balance fun and indulgence. However, I know now that it’s a choice I’m making, and the cost it comes at. I don’t want to lose precious time, an opportunity to be present, or to miss any glimmers of the spiritual magic that surrounds us. As is written on my mirror, “Only that day dawns to which we are awake.” (Henry David Thoreau) 💫
How does your intuition speak to you?
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