the call to write

& the iterative experience of tending to this blog

image: Johannes Plenio via Pexels

April marks one year of this little writing space. Thank you for all your support as friends, family, and subscribers. I certainly never thought I’d be a blogger, but here we are! The call to this initiative was more than a desire to share what’s on my mind and heart. It is a practice in being seen. A practice of putting myself out there in a way that feels both vulnerable and empowering. 

The idea to start a blog kept coming up in my morning pages last winter, but it took months to move into action. It’s been a journey of self-accountability and a commitment to a new creative medium. The blog has been helping with my anxiety of existing online. At first, I’d feel a wave of fear and a rush of relief after posting anything on the internet, but it’s been getting easier over time. In fact, I wish I did more of it! If it’s been too long since the last post, I hear this blog calling my name and I start to get irritable. Sitting down to write feels like going to the gym: I don’t feel like working out, but once I get started it actually gets fun. I know it’s good for me in the long run, and I never regret it afterwards! 

Oftentimes it doesn’t feel like the post is ready or fleshed out enough. I wonder about the reader’s experience. Who is this for? What do I know? So what? The stories of insecurity fight over the mic when it comes to the blog. I do my best to listen to them, soothe them, and click the publish button anyway. 

A lot of resistance comes up around writing, and I’m still figuring out how to drop into the flow and move through the blocks. For the past year, I’ve been breaking up with narratives around what I need my environment or state to be in order to write. Showing up for myself through consistency and compassion has helped build resilience towards my inner critic and easily-distracted, multitasking Gemini spirit. Carving out the time and tracking the systems that enable more flow and focus has been a part of this iterative learning process. Some mornings I may need a writing warm up (thanks to Benita for the handy book of writing prompts!), a stretch or yoga nidra to ground into my body, or a walk around the block to clear my mind. Other days, I sit down to write and nothing goes right. I shake it off and come back to it later. It’s become less dramatic over the year, but I’m still feeling out what an organic balance between rigour and pleasure looks like in my emerging writing practice.

My dear friend Melissa offered to help with editing, and at first seeing the text marked up with (very valid) notes felt discouraging. But thanks to her support, my writing skills have developed and I’m less precious about it all. It’s been a balm for the haunts of perfectionism. Writing is challenging for me, and I am an avid (and highly critical) reader - so this experience has been stretchy and humbling. I’m not certain where it’s all leading…but I do know for sure is that this little blog must be writ - and I trust that the answers to why me? why now? will reveal themselves in the long run. We all have start somewhere, right? I’ve learned that if there’s something I feel called to do that brings up a lot of resistance or fear, its a strong sign that I need to do the damn thing!

The point of this blog is to host a non-judgemental site where I can practice having patience and compassion for my creative evolution. I’m happy to hold that space for others, yet less inclined to do so for my own recovering artist heart. In a way, the blog is a gift of grace that I practice giving and receiving, each and every month.

It’s been a transformative year..and you, dear readers, have been witnesses to the journey through these posts. Thank you for your readership, your donations, feedback, and love over the past year. As promised, I’ve attached a little yoga nidra and I will continue to weave them into these posts as we go. Enjoy — you’ll be hearing from me again soon 🌷

☀️ shareables :

• Here’s a ten-minute Yoga Nidra for deep rest & relaxation. Yoga Nidra is a guided meditation with no movement or experience required. There are plenty of benefits to practicing, including restoring mental and physical health, stress reduction, sleep deficit support, and overall wellbeing. I completed a Yoga Nidra teacher training last year and have been sending them to friends and family but am longing to share more openly now. Let me know what you think! 💫
  

• The War on Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle — my bestie Michelle gave me this book years ago — it didn’t leave my side (until I gave it to my friend Janice as she was getting her murder mystery novel started). It’s about understanding how to honour the muses of creativity and move through blocks and resistance. 🗝️
  

• A song that’s giving me spring vibes.. 🌿

  
  

• This week I was invited to guide a yoga nidra practice for my friend Brittany and her current coaching cohort. She offers an online three-week journey that ignites meaning, focus and inspiration through developing a holistic and personal practice. Her next offering starts in the summer – check it out!  🧚🏼‍♀️
  

• A new season of Unlocking Us is out ~ if you know me, you know I love this podcast.
  

• It was Mark Twain who said, “I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead”.  🤓
  

• A special thanks to my blog angels: Milena, Melissa, Margaret & Kamana. ❤️